A righteous wife is a blessing in this world.
Don’t marry these women
1. The wailer/nagger this one complains about everything and she moans over every little pain and nags all the time. She doesn’t know to be patient
2. The do-gooder she does things to the husband as a favour and says “I have done this and that for you.” And at every given opportunity she slaps it on your face. In private or public. Uwar gori kenan ba.
3. The clinger/ reminiscence wife this one always compares you to her former suitors or former husband or talks about her child from a previous marriage alllll the time. Every. Single. Time.
4. The hoarder: 🙊 this one is the market woman everything she sees she will say “laa budda an yashtara liy zawjiy haza… Wato dole baban wane or sweety or whatever must buy this for me, her eyes are wandering to see the latest trend for her to adapt. The sponsor? You. Unless you have the millions to spare. Run!
5. The sparkling wife: Now, I call them this because they know nothing but making up their faces and hiding their flaws you will always see them with makeup even at 5 in the morning Yaa akhiy when you keep going to meet her and you can’t tell her natural complexion, some part of the essence of courting is defeated, the messenger SAW says look at her so that she may entice you. You have to know what you’re signing up for. (The halaal way of course. No testing business dude. 😡)
These kind of women are always putting artificial things and lightening to get radiance on their faces and they spend half the day doing that too 😱 ‘yar hoda ba laifi amma idan ka ga ten layers of foundation akwai matsala.
Even though some naturally want to make up, it shouldn’t be extreme. You can politely request to see her sans makeup. P.O.L.I.T.E.L.Y. Tam.
5b. The bad-tempered- the one who will only eat alone and she can criticize for the world. Everything you give her is always small in her eyes please spare yourselves from this one. She is from the ungrateful wives, she can put you behind bars. Her likes were cautioned as one of the dwellers of hell fire.
6. Talkative chatterbox: Rasulillah SAW has said upon these women, “Allah hates prattling chatterboxes.”
Wannan idan ta rinka hada maka gurmi ko? 🙊😱 kullum sai ka zama referee a unguwa and she will definitely be an I-too-know or a compulsive liar whenever you encounter people who cannot place a filter over their mouths, there bound to be a huge problem, man or woman.
Oh, brothers, we’ve seen the women you should avoid getting married to now when you have made the mistake of marrying one already, take note of these women too:
7. The woman who always asks for divorce without a reason. She is a woman you want to really consider staying for a lifetime with, she is kind of dangerous. She can become passionate about her intent, you should rule out sihr and Jinn if she is not affected by either, use all the convincing words and diplomatic strategies to convince her and make her stay when she is still adamant. Take her home.
8. The woman who takes pride in worldly things and looks down on everyone from her maids to your relatives (we shall see some conditions later in the series in sha Allah) she doesn’t respect them or give them some regards. This woman is not the marriageable type, she will soon out power you, not physically. Mentally. She will sometimes make you lose your self-confidence and make you doubt your worth.
9. Then the Juliette: This is the worse of them all, she has a side chap a sweetheart and a lover aside from you. Trust me she will not change once they are into that mindset and lifestyle. You are married to her, but she will set an appointment, lie to you and meet her lover. These women are dangerous, they kill. Literally.
10. The overbearing woman towards you in both her words and deeds: She wouldn’t even let you breathe, she will drop on you like a meteor. One day she will threaten to hit you.
May Allah bless you with righteous spouses. When you see that your wife has fallen into one of the above categories, it is important you place her in an islamiyya and if it is you with the bad qualities, yes you know, then please don’t feel too big to seek knowledge ko? Prophet Musa (AS) had also set out in search of knowledge, despite feeling he was the most knowledgeable man on earth at his time.
Now no one wants an ugly wife and honestly, not all of the women are beautiful. But dai to oneself kam ai everyone wants a pretty spouse that you will look at and your heart will go boom boom or mush-mush, or a string being pulled.
Alright, you get the drill, right?
You know the getting to know each other first ba? Hajiya, remove your niqaab, dab a little bit of face powder, don’t wear the foundation now if you don’t know the technique behind doing it on the minimalistic side, to avoid confusion on the second meeting. Go subtle at first if it is a must you must go all MUA on him.
And ya akhiy, please be honest with them if you don’t like the layers tell them subtly in the 3rd or 4th meeting.
“I think you look so much prettier if you don’t use eyeshadow. I get to see all your raw beauty.” even if it is the cooked beauty you see not raw, be nice with your wordings she will feel beautiful and confident to appear before you with or without all the make-up.
Remember you are not taking her as a wife for her beauty alone. A woman is made up of so much better than her looks alone, but only the wise men see this.
Because wallah if you don’t look at her properly (With her hijaab on of course) all out of ustazanci and you go and see something out of X-men, you are on your own. Because the prophet SAW said you should look. “When Allah SWT disposes one of you towards a woman let him look upon her for that is more likely to bring them closer together.”
Meaning, it’s from now that after marriage you will have those sparks and it creates intimacy between you. Always remember to be in the company of a chaperone, a preteen is okay, or someone ten years of age or an adult. Even though I learned that men do snatch their friend’s prospectives from a chance glance. 😜
And please when you are asking around on someone’s character and beauty before marriage, go to people with a good opinion, honest opinions not those that will be biased because she is their niece or neighbour or whatever likewise in case of men.
Before anything official is established go for all the medicals to avoid embarrassment later on if the marriage takes long after then, repeat the HIV & hepatitis tests. The genotype test can be repeated as some people get varying results because of some varying parameters.
You see it is not every day you marry a beautiful woman if you are not out for the pleasure and what not.
Imam Ahmad Bn Hanbal was presented with two women who were sisters one was beautiful and the other was one-eyed. So he asked which among them was the most-intelligent and they said the one-eyed he said marry me to her.”
And you can get married to an orphan who you will get the reward for feeding her and clothing her and some orphans have less demand for fineries so their demand will be much lesser than ‘yar wane da wane,
But if you can’t live without all the pleasure of sensual enjoyment with regard to being beautiful then look for beauty.
Taking pleasure in the permissible way is a safeguard of religion. Don’t go and marry an average or an ugly woman only for your eyes to be glued to other people’s wives 🙊 (Kar kaje ka auro mummuna kazo idanunka kullum suna kan matan jama’a ato!)